Comfort
by Tweedledee13
Summary: For the first time in her life Gail has something, or rather someone, she finds comfort in. Gail/Holly.


Comfort.

It's such a normal, everyday feeling. A person, a song, an action, a place, whatever. Everyone has something they find comfort in.

Except Gail.

I mean she's a police officer. Every day on the job she doesn't know whether she'll come home alive but she does it anyways because it's her job and she loves it. But that doesn't make it comfortable.

She's never really had anything she's ever found comfort in, not one thing in her whole life. That's why she's built the persona she has. She walks around annoyed at the world, making snarky remarks when anything at all is said. But even that's not comfortable. How could it be? She's not being true to who she really is. She's hiding behind something she's taken years to build so she doesn't get hurt.

But god it's exhausting. Like really truly fucking exhausting.

Then she met Holly. And in an instant everything changed.

She doesn't know how it happened. How a complete stranger managed to break through her carefully constructed walls in no time at all but Holly did it with such ease. And that scares the shit out of Gail.

But at the same time she's relieved. Relieved that she finally knows what comfort feels like. Every moment she spends around Holly is so carefree. She can be exactly who she is with no judgement and no expectations.

That's why the night Oliver was found and Sam was shot and Holly showed up at the hospital she did something so characteristically un-Gail. She hugged someone. Well not someone, but Holly. She took comfort in the fact that this person who cared about her unabashedly was there because she knew Gail needed her. And she needed Gail too. Needed to know Gail was unharmed.

And physically she was, unharmed that is. But otherwise? Gail was as far from okay as a person could be. But Holly wouldn't learn that until later in the night.

After Andy went back to see how things were going with Sam, Frank told everyone to go home and get some rest. There were still shifts in the morning and 15 division needed all hands on deck since 3 officers were currently out of commission.

Gail didn't protest like she normally would because she was exhausted. Instead she got up from where she'd been sitting, one hand grasped tightly to Holly's, said her goodbyes and left.

In the car no words were spoken, none needed to be said. Holly could tell that leaving Gail alone wasn't a particularly great idea so she drove to her own apartment without question.

When they arrived Holly let go of Gail's hand for only a brief moment to get out of the car. Their hands were once again joined on the way to the elevator of her apartment building.

Comfortable silence passed between them as they arrived inside Holly's apartment. Holly led Gail to her bedroom and let Gail linger while she found something for her to change into. Once they were both changed she motioned for Gail to crawl into her bed and then started to walk toward the door to go to her guest bedroom (her bed was much more comfortable and was more than willing to let Gail get as good a nights sleep as possible given the day she'd had). Before she got even two steps from the bed she heard Gail speak for the first time in what was probably hours.

'Stay?'

Holly didn't hesitate to turn around and oblige whatever Gail needed. She did however cock an eyebrow as if to ask if Gail was sure.

Gail just nodded.

The two climbed into bed, each taking a side and settled in for the night. It didn't take long before both women fell asleep.

The next thing Holly new she was suddenly roused from slumber to the feeling of her bed slightly shaking. She turned over to see Gail still asleep but her brows were knitted together and Holly made the assumption she was having a nightmare.

Half a second later she found out she was correct in her assumption because Gail let out an unnerving whimper.

Holly immediately started trying to wake Gail up, and after a few minutes of gently shaking and calling out to her as to not startle Gail, she finally succeeded.

The moment Gail's eyes opened she started looking around frantically, trying to get her bearings and after a few seconds her eyes adjusted to the darkness and settled on Holly. She sighed, relieved.

'You okay?' Holly finally asked.

Gail shook her head no.

'Do you want to talk about it?' Holly questioned further.

Again Gail shook her head in the negative. But then in a quiet, tentative voice that Holly had never heard from her before she said 'Will you, um, will you hold me?'

Holly was a little surprised that Gail requested physical contact but nonetheless scooted over to wrap her arm around Gail and pull her into a tight embrace.

And that one action broke the dam. Gail started crying, not so hard at first but gradually the tears turned into sobs and Holly's heart broke for Gail. Holly wasn't sure how she knew but she could just tell that this was the first time in years that Gail actually let herself fall apart in front of anyone, including Gail herself.

Holly held Gail for the duration of her crying, never loosening her hold even as the sobs turned to whimpers, and the whimpers turn to sniffles.

Finally she noticed the sniffles stop as deep breaths of sleep had taken over Gail's form and still never moving an inch Holly allowed herself to succumb to sleep as well.

When Gail awoke the following morning she was only slightly confused by her surroundings but when she finally felt the arm wrapped around her waist and the soft curves pressed into her back she knew she was at Holly's apartment.

And then she had a momentary freak out because she was literally wrapped up in Holly's embrace and she couldn't remember yet how exactly that had happened.

But instead of bolting she decided to just try and relax where she was because she had to admit that being held by Holly wasn't the worst thing she'd ever felt. Quite the opposite if she was being honest with herself. And she was trying to be.

Gail doesn't know how long she laid there waiting for Holly to wake up but it was a good while. When she finally felt Holly start to stir and remove her arm from around Gail's waist, Gail decided to turn over to face Holly.

'Morning.'

'Goodmorning.' Holly replied in a slight sleepy slur. And since Gail was trying to be honest, she fully let herself think it was absolutely adorable, because it was.

'Not that I'm complaining, because I'm not at all, but how exactly did we end up cuddled together?' Gail asked because after her freak out earlier she still couldn't remember and was genuinely curious.

'Mmm, nightmare. Don't you remember?'

And then she did. All the memories of her nightmare and the events following came rushing back to her mind and it wasn't a pleasant feeling. She reverted back to walls up Gail in a nanosecond and turned away to hide her mixture of uneasiness at her nightmare and embarrassment at her falling apart in Holly's arms.

But Holly wouldn't accept that reaction. She forced Gail to turn back over, settling her hand firmly on Gail's lower back, and defiantly said 'No, I'm not letting you pull that stunt. It's not happening. I'll let slide a lot of things because we don't know what we are yet, or where this is headed, but after everything we've been through so far I will not let you be anyone but the real Gail with me because I've already seen her and I'm not going anywhere, no matter what happens in the future, and you need to get that through that thick skull of yours. Got it?'

All Gail could do was nod because she had never heard Holly be so serious and if she was being honest, it both frightened and aroused her a little bit.

That answer seem to satisfied Holly enough because the next thing Gail knew Holly was letting her go and starting to climb out of the bed and Gail was so not ready for that to happen so she protested. 'Where are you going?'

Holly was slightly surprised that Gail still wanted her to still be in bed but flashed her a smile and responded 'I'll be right back, I'm just going to put the coffee on.'

Gail accepted Holly's response and settled in to Holly's bed and waited.

True to her words, Holly was back fairly quick (just two minutes, not that Gail counted) and proceeded to climb back into her bed and settled in on her own side.

Gail was a bit perturbed that she has to tell Holly that she wanted to cuddle because she wasn't used to that but decided to let it go. Instead she made a typical snarky Gail remark and said 'Do I smell or something?'

Holly, fluent enough in Gail speak, realized that Gail didn't just want Holly to be in the bed but rather wanted to be close to Holly so she moved over to Gail and wrapped her arm around her waist like she had earlier and let Gail get comfortable against her.

Gail knew she would have to get up in a little while to get ready for work but for now she was going to revel in the fact that for the first time in her life she finally had something she found comfort in.


End file.
